A Godly Woman (Proverbs 31:10-31)

[Pat]

Let's talk about what is a Godly Woman.

We can find a really good outline in Proverbs and I've read it at least once a month for most of my married life.

Here's the verses in New King James Version...

Proverbs 31


The Virtuous Wife

10 Who[1] can find a virtuous[2] wife?
       For her worth is far above rubies.
       11The heart of her husband safely trusts her;
       So he will have no lack of gain.
       12She does him good and not evil
       All the days of her life.
       13She seeks wool and flax,
       And willingly works with her hands.
       14She is like the merchant ships,
       She brings her food from afar.
       15She also rises while it is yet night,
       And provides food for her household,
       And a portion for her maidservants.
       16She considers a field and buys it;
       From her profits she plants a vineyard.
       17She girds herself with strength,
       And strengthens her arms.
       18She perceives that her merchandise is good,
       And her lamp does not go out by night.
       19She stretches out her hands to the distaff,
       And her hand holds the spindle.
       20She extends her hand to the poor,
       Yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy.
       21She is not afraid of snow for her household,
       For all her household is clothed with scarlet.
       22She makes tapestry for herself;
       Her clothing is fine linen and purple.
       23Her husband is known in the gates,
       When he sits among the elders of the land.
       24She makes linen garments and sells them,
       And supplies sashes for the merchants.
       25Strength and honor are her clothing;
       She shall rejoice in time to come.
       26She opens her mouth with wisdom,
       And on her tongue is the law of kindness.
       27She watches over the ways of her household,
       And does not eat the bread of idleness.
       28Her children rise up and call her blessed;
       Her husband also, and he praises her:
       29"Many daughters have done well,
       But you excel them all."
       30Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing,
       But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.
       31Give her of the fruit of her hands,
       And let her own works praise her in the gates. [/list]


Footnotes


31:10 Verses 10 through 31 are an alphabetic acrostic in Hebrew (compare Psalm 119).
Literally a wife of valor, in the sense of all forms of excellence





Let's first of all discuss Verses 10 & 11 and see what these verses means to us in the 21st Century.


New King James Version...

10 Who[1] can find a virtuous[2] wife?
       For her worth is far above rubies.
       11The heart of her husband safely trusts her;
       So he will have no lack of gain.




King James Version...

10   Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.
11   The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.




New International Version...

A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.



(Al, you can keep us straight!)

[Marilyn]

10. It is hard to find a good wife, because she is worth mor than rubies. 11. Her husband trusts her completely. With her, he has everything he needs.  NCV

10. A good woman is hard to find, and worth far more than diamonds.  11. Her husband trusts her without reserve, and never has any reason to regret it.  The Message

[Pat]

 

Well, now that we have five versions to look at, let's talk about those two verses...

What would be a characterist of a godly woman according to these verses?

[Marilyn]

Here is a woman who is godly, and concerned for her husmand and family. She is trustworthy, honest, a willing servant to her husbands needs. He has no reason not to trust in her or to want for anything that she is willing to provide for him. By servant I do not mean it in an demeaning was. I godly servant who puts God first yet still provides for her family. I think I am getting ahead of verses 10 and 11.

Marilyn

[Al Moak]

How we focus on money, things, etc. in our lives!  But here our God says that the godly wife is worth more than rubies!  The husband of such a wife ought to arise each and every morning with thanksgiving to God for her! - more thanksgiving than he would with money, precious stones, etc.

[Pat]

Yes, Marilyn, I would agree with your post...  "Trustworthy" is a very important characteristic of a godly wife.  If we can't be trusted, it would be awful.

Thanks Al for your input too.



Let's move on to verses 11 and 12 now...

I hope others will join us.

[Pat]

Verses 11 and 12

NIV:

11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.



King James Version

11   The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.
12   She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.



New King James Version

11The heart of her husband safely trusts her;
       So he will have no lack of gain.
       12She does him good and not evil
       All the days of her life.

[Marilyn]

Here is a woman whose husband has no reason to lack any confidence in her, she is not only trustworthy but she will keep his confidences in her heart and not go out in the world to gossip and complain about her home life. She is a valuable asset to her husband, she treats him with all the respect due him. She is his most valuable asset because she puts everything she has into her marriage, with love and respect.

[Pat]

So, as Christian wives we should be encouragers then.  Would you agree?  

I know that lots of times during my 40 years of marriage, I sure didn't!    That's sad to remember now.  When I lived in Northern Ireland, I was so homesick that I remember doing things just to get my husband irritated.  Later on, I did apologize for this though.  

[Sonifo]

I have never been in a discussion like this, but I am excited about it.  I hope you are patient with me and help me through this.  I think I will learn a great deal from it.  Thanks!

Sorry Pat for starting late.  

Verse
10. I feel that Rubies are a precious jewel and to find them is very rare. So to find a virtuous women is rare.  There is not very many out there.  When a man does find a women like her he must not let her go for she is worth lots.
11. Her husband trust and puts his home and children into her hands without worry.  He has faith that she will take care of difficult situations correctly and in a Godly manner.
12. I feel that man feel good when they get home and see a clean home and the everything in order.  They work hard all day and want to come home to an orderly house.

I do think we should encourage our husbands in everything they do.  Even though men come across as being strong, I feel they need a bit of encouragement to make them feel they are making the right decisions.  

I agree Pat it is hard to be a good wife.  It is something I have to work on everyday.  It has to be the hardest challenge for me to have everything orderly when he gets home.

[Marilyn]

I feel that not only should we encourage our husbands but that as older women we should follow Paul's instructions to encourage and to teach the younger women in how they are to conduct themselves.

"Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips, nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good.
that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, that the wordof God may not be dishonored."  Titus 2:3-5

I was a very submissve wife, and as I look back I think that my husbands, took advantage of that submissiveness and that is why they all were so violent toward me. But I was also a complainer and a sniveler. I am not making excuses for myself, because after awhile I did stand up for myself toe to toe and fight back, literally that made them angrier.

[Pat]

Welcome Sonja!  You're not late!  We've just started!    I think that we probably will be able to learn a lot from just reading these wonderful verses.  I remember years ago having a book that was written on just these verses.  I haven't the foggiest idea what the name of it was or where it's gone now but I probably passed it on to some younger gal who might benefit from it.

So, I think that we agree that we should encourage our husbands--something I found difficult when being homesick!  

So up till now in just the first two or three verses we find that a godly wife should be...

• Trustworthy
  She is the kind of woman/mother/person/wife that God wants her to be.
  
  
• Encourager
  I'm sure that in this point, a godly woman would be a person who would encourage her whole family and would understand just what the needs of the family members are.
  

I was a submissive wife most of the time, Marilyn.  It was when I was submissive that I was happiest.  When I rebelled and decided that I could make all of the decisions, etc. that was when  I was unhappy in my marriage.  I'm happy that these times didn't last long.

I wouldn't say that my husband ordered me about though.  He was so kind and loving that he would never do that but when decisions had to be made, we discussed them together and he made the final one but I found that it was usually a decision that I would have chosen as well.

[Pat]

Sonja, I just went back and re-read your post...

It is something I have to work on everyday.  It has to be the hardest challenge for me to have everything orderly when he gets home.

This is something that we as Christian women have to work on 100% of the time I believe.

As far as having the house orderly, that might not always be possible.  It depends on what kind of day you had with the children.  It depends on what you do in your day...do you work full time?  Do you homeschool?  Is your day filled with many things that must be done besides just laundry and housework?  A thoughtful husband will realize this and be understanding.

I worked full time when my children were young and my husband did his share of housework to help me.  

I know of some though that expect that even though a wife is working a full time job in order to make ends meet, they also expect that all meals be made, laundry and ironing done and cleaning too without lifting a hand to help.  This, in my mind is not a loving husband.


But what do we as Christians do about this?  Do we do as I did in Ireland and rebel?  

I don't think that so.

Prayer is such a wonderful tool.

[Marilyn]

I not only had to deal with all the chores, kids and dogs, but at times there were motorcycle parts all over mykitchen and once even a Truck engine on an engine stand while he was building it. Then another time allhis tools were being sorted out in my kitchen and he left allthe tool boxes in my kitchen for days. I'm glad those days are over. The motorcyle parts and engine were the most recent,.   like 6 years ago.

[Sonifo]

Another thing is we must not speek out with out first thinking.  Like Janet had mentioned in the NEM thread.  We must learn to keep our mouths shut as to not embarrass the family.  Women tend to open their mouths to soon and speek irrationally.  Is that the right word?
I tend to open my mouth when I know my husband is making the wrong decisions and we usually get in an arguement over it, but in the end he usually realizes that he did make the wrong decision.  But I should learn that no matter what, he will make those decision with or with out my approval and I should keep my mouth shut.  

[Pat]

Good point, Sonja!

I think that these discussions should always be done in private and definitely never in front of the kids and always after pausing to reflect as to how it will affect the bond between you both.

"Irrational" is a good word!   Not endowed with reason.  Affected by loss of usual or normal mental clarity; incoherent, as from shock.  Marked by a lack of accord with reason or sound judgment.

[Marilyn]

The men also need to learn to keepthier mouths shut. I have had to listen to insults, belittlement and rage in front of company, over things he was in the wrong about to begin with, all I did was keep my mouth shut. Even in front of Gilbert. My dog would even run and hide.

[Janet]

Marilyn---I've been there, done that!  Loooonnng story and not one I care to even remember.  I am so glad things aren't that way now!

[Marilyn]

I don't blame you one bit Janet. I don't care to remember all that stuff either. Every now and then It all comes back and I just have to tell satan to get behind me. and Plead the Blood.

[Pat]

Well, I'm so sad that you experienced marriages that left much to be desired.  That's so sad.   But even in these situations, I'm sure that our Lord can be exalted.

Now we'll move on in our little discussion here on Proverbs as given to us by God  in chapter 31.  I enjoy reading this and did so at least monthly during my marriage and many times more often.

Let's go to verses 13 to 17, shall we?


KJV:

13   She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.
14   She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar.
15   She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.
16   She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.
17   She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.

NKJV:

13She seeks wool and flax,
And willingly works with her hands.
14She is like the merchant ships,
She brings her food from afar.
15She also rises while it is yet night,
And provides food for her household,
And a portion for her maidservants.
16She considers a field and buys it;
From her profits she plants a vineyard.
17She girds herself with strength,
And strengthens her arms.

NIV:

13 She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still dark;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her servant girls.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.

[mieka]

strengtheneth I often have such a hard time to read these.

I undarstand why there different books now.
KJV:
NKJV:
NIV:

Is it possible that some of the meaning is gone in the new books? Is this why we look at all of them?  

[Pat]

I tend to use the King James Version, Mieka most of the time but I like the New King James Version.  I really like to compare the way each version is written.

[Judy McKenna]

I just ccame in this morning... had to laugh tho Marilyn, when you talked about engine and other tools in your kitchen

I had a car battery in my living/dining room years ago when our old wreck of a car wouldn't start in cold weather.  Norm would bring it n every night to keep it warm; then put it in the car every morning before he could drive to work.

This went on for a whole winter!!

[Marilyn]

Here is the transaltionf rom the New century Version.

13  She looks for wool and flax and likes to work with her hands.
14  She is like a trader's ship, bringing food from far away.
15  She gets up while it is still dark and prepares food for her family and feeds her servant girls.
16 She inspects a feild and buys it. with money she earned, she plants a vineyard.
17  She does her work with energy and her arms are strong.


Here is a woman who loves and cares for every member of her family including the servants. She prefers to keep her hands busy, sewing and weaving or whatever she can do to stay busy caring for the family. She goes out to find the best food to prepare for those she loves, making sure the meals are nutritionally balanced and healthy.  She sells some of the clothing she makes  to help with family expenses and makes good investments., with the money she has earned.

[Pat]

Thanks Marilyn!

I'd say, then, that a godly woman/wife/mother is industrious.  She works hard to benefit family and others.


I remember earlier in our married life, things were very tough financially at one point and I learned to sew clothes for the kids and grew to enjoy this so much.  Whenever I made a dress for myself, when Janice was wee, I always made her a wee dress "like Mum's" and she loved it!

[Marilyn]

Having spent much of my childhood with my Grandmother, I learned at a very young age to Sew, crochet, I helped withthe canning, inthe garden feeding the animals, riding on the tractor with my uncle disking the vineyards. They were tenants that cared for the vineyards of the owner. After my first marriage the budget was very tight. I learned how to make tortilla and would get up at 5: am to make the tortillas for my husbands lunch, I was 17 years old. I still raise early between 5-6 to feed my animals  
During WWII my mother and grandmother sewed tents for the Army until mom went to work for the Ordinance depot then my aunt and grandmother made the tents.

[Pat]

That sounds like both of my grandmothers AND my mother, Marilyn.  I really tried to be like my mother in my marriage but at the same time, I really tried to be a godly Christian wife.  I know that many times I failed but the Lord was always wonderful in the "forgiving department"!    And I'd start again.

[Sonifo]

Life seems to be a bit easier now.  We don't have to sew because we have second hand stores. We also don't have to slave in the kitchen because we have bread makers and other cooking equipment to help us.  I think it is great because we are able to spend more time with our kids.  I love spending time with them.  I love to color and play.  I love to listen to there stories and dreams and goals that they have. And gives me more time to spend with laundry.

[Sonifo]

I thought a little more and even though I do not sew or have maids or have a vineyard.

I think in todays day in age. We women should make sure our house has plenty of food in the pantry, we should pay the bills on time, we should give some of our time to the needy, make sure we spend quality time with our kids and make sure she keeps herself in good shape.  she is very important to the family and if she gets sick then the whole family feels it.  I think that is very important that we keep ourselves healthy.

[Marilyn]

How right your are Sonja. It is very important for all women to keep themselves healthy and to stay 'up" on all the latest health issues, and the healthiest foods for her family and herself. Too many of us become dependant on Vvitamins and suppplements instead of healthy foods. I think aslo as women we need to uplift each other and help one another and  if there is family crisis we need to pray together. A prayer partner can be so valuable. She should be a woman that you and trust not to tell your most secret things to anyone else. This is where being "trustworthy' comes into pay. I find that the fervant prayers between my prayer partner and myself bring down the glory of God and He moves quickly to answer our prayers. One time it was only 10 minutes and the prayer was answered in a way that neithr of us expected. My car had been stolen by someone and taken to Anaheim Ca. We prayed and 10 minutes later my landlord called me and said they had recovered my car and would bring it to me on the following Sunday. Just last weekend a friend called and we prayed and we no sooner finished praying when she got an email that was the answer to the prayer.