I'm a survivor of abuse. My main abusers were my parents. I was also abused by a cousin while she babysat me and I was also abused by peers at school, from elementary all the way to part of junior high.
My parents are alcoholics. They both physically,mentally,sexually and verbally abused me. I grew up in a dysfunctional home as you might have already know. No household be functional and normal with to abusers of alcohol running the household.
I think the parts that effect me the most are being burned by my parents, being sufficated by my mother, and being totally rejected by them in my adulthood.
Looking back I can see God had a hold on me even at a young age. I remember seeing Bibles in hotel and motel rooms and some in hospital waiting rooms. I would always open them up and start reading genesis. More time then none I had to be peeled away from reading because I didnt want to put the book down. I didnt understand it but I read it just the same.
I was raised to be athiest primarily by my father's doing. It never really jived with me. He was always so doomy and bleak in his beliefs and ideas.
In my late teens I started to feel depressed badly in fact and I suffered through many migraine headaches which didnt help matter much. In 1992 I was diagnoised with moderate to severe depression.
To make a long story short. I got no support from my parents for the depression I didnt get it treated until I met my wife and moved out. That was around 94-95. To make an even longer story shorted I've had 3 hospitalizations 3 twelve week stays at an intensive day treatment program. I basically hit rock bottom psyhcologically in or around 98 and thats when I gave my life to the LORD I couldnt do it anymore and I asked him in to help me live and make sense of all the chaos around me. The rest his history.
I dont have a relationship with my parents we dont talk. I see them around town because we live in the same town (this wasnt always the case) I see them and I walk the other way or walk in the opposite direction. I have PTSD because of the abuse and have strong reactions to this day when I see them. I had an opportunity after 10 years to re-establish contant with my brother. We met somewhereafter talking on our cellphones however we had another falling out within a 2-3 month period and I havent spoken to him since this year's mother day.
I consider myself to be pretty much a social reject and I guess a loner by choice. I have picked photography for a hobby and since getting a camera I have let God guide me in my picture taking.
I love taking pictures and I'm seriously thinking about making it a profession.
Well thats enough babling for me. I'm sure I have bored most of the people that have read this if you have followed it all the way to this point.....
Godbless to all here and love
In Christ
Rich
Rich thank you so much for sharing you testimony with us here on CP. ou have certainly been through a lot in your life. You can read mine HERE (http://www.christianphotographers.com/files/testimony_marilynF.html)
Rich, thank you for sharing about your life. It hasn't been an easy one, for sure.
One of the amazing things about coming to Christ, is that we do, indeed, become brand new creations. YOu may feel the pain of your past, but it can't hold you, dear brother. You ARE who Christ says you are, NOT what your past says you are. When I met Jesus, this was the truth that most gave me hope.
Bless you, brother. I pray the rest of your journey will bring you peace and hope and joy.
Rich: My heart was aching for you, when I read your story. I am SO SINCERELY SORRY, that you have had to go through life like that. :'(
I trust your wife is a Christian..?
I will be praying for you, dear brother. Come on over to New Every Morning....we'd love to see you there! :)
- Judy
I say a thoroughly-meant "amen" to Nita's message, Rich. I thank our God for keeping His hold on you through so many things. I absolutely promise you that you are [NOT a social outcast or reject here with these people! We'll love you and pray with and for you all the way! I would also add that our Father can help you to do something you will eventually have to do - forgive your parents and your brother. Forgiveness, though, doesn't mean you'll forget all the wrong things - or even just "look the other way." What it means is that you'll commit yourself to doing them all the good you can, while not bringing their sins up to them. You'll simply look past those wrongs, realize that they're much more lost than you were, and pray for them. You're a NEW creature, and in Christ you can do it - and oh the relief it'll bring you to do it!