"And the disciples did as Jesus had appointed them; and they made ready the passover. Now when the even was come, he sat down with the twelve. And as they did eat, he said, Verily I say unto you, that one of you shall betray me. And they were exceeding sorrowful, and began every one of them to say unto him, Lord, is it I?" - Mat.26:19-22
Child of God, when you read this passage, do you find yourself, as I do, nudged by the Holy Spirit to examine my own heart and wonder if it could possibly be in me also to betray our Savior, given enough pressure and stressful circumstances? Or perhaps you are even right now feeling that you have recently betrayed Him and His goodness and the abundant grace He has lavished on you time after time, because of a recent failure or sin(s) in your life?
Notice that the disciples became "exceedingly sorrowful" at Jesus' declaration. Yes they were no doubt sorrowful over the fact that one of their fellowship could betray Him, but I believe the excessive sorrow was a result of each one personally realizing that the potential to betray Christ was latent in their own sinful heart, apart from His sustaining, upholding grace, and therefore each one asked, "Lord is it I?".
Or, maybe you are one who confidently says, "I would never betray Christ", as Peter did (Mt.26:33) shortly before he said "Woman, I know Him (Jesus) not" (Lk.22:53). If so, "let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall" (1 Cor.10:12).
Whichever of the two camps we find ourselves in, the Scriptures give us hope!
If we, by God's grace, have been brought to discover that we have been presumptuously trusting in our own flesh, righteousness, or past spiritual experiences, to continue to be faithful to Christ, they counsel us to "search out and examine our ways, and turn back to the Lord", (Lam.3:40,HCSB), and that our being able to stand is "not by might nor by power, but by [the enabling of] My Spirit, says the Lord of hosts" (Zech.4:6), so if we will "turn at His rebuke, He will pour out His (enabling) Spirit on us" (Pr.1:23, paraphrased).
For those of us who, convinced of the fickleness and sinfulness of our hearts are tempted to listen to the lying condemnation of Satan and/or ourselves, let's hear God's Word to us: "if we would judge ourselves, we would not be judged" (1 Cor.11:31); "Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, so that He may exalt you in due time" (1 Pet.5:6); and, "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness" (1 Jn.1:9).
In conclusion, if you're asking, "Lord, is it I", His response is "Yes! It is you who My Holy Spirit is teaching not only that in your flesh / sinful human nature there is no good thing (Rom.7:18), but also that you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you" (Phil.4:13)
Praise His Name!!
Jim/UHS
These were some thoughts I had about our "Living Lord's Supper" program this year.
In the performance, Jesus says "The hands of the betrayer are on the table with me." In my monolog I wonder briefly about how could this be, and it ends abruptly by saying is it I? Is it I? I thought wow, I could add something like "How could a betrayer be numbered among His closest friends, but then I remembered Jesus saying the hands of the betrayer are on the table with me, and I looked down and MY HANDS were on the table. Then I would turn to Jesus, as I would have anyway, and asked Lord is it I? Is it I?
That would have been so much more effective, but I couldn't remember if any of the others talked about it, so I stuck with my prepared lines. As it turned out, It would have been fine. Still, it was a powerful thought. All the disciples ran away that night, so there wasn't just one betrayer, Judas, they all did. Are we any different? I think not. Fortunately we serve a forgiving Risen Lord!
Amen!