Christian Photographers Community

Wow for wind today.  It is suddenly very cool - we used a coupon for a free breakfast and brought donations to a shop that helps needful organizations just in the county area.

Is anyone in the path of this mega storm? 

Janet:  I do take it easy but have to control things a bit because Don has such a difficult time hearing - we manage. Everyone understands.  You need to remind yourself to slow down a bit too, lady!    I hope you mend  quickly from bone bruises - that had to be a hard hit to bruise bones.  We all are trying to watch where we step and slow the pace. 

A good friend just called and is coming over soon.  ---   

Carol, you are right!  I am having to slow down, though not my wish.  It took a long time for me to realize how much the last several months caring for Beth took out of me.  I kept thinking I'd bounce back, like I always had, but it hasn't happened.
And, like you, I am trying to watch where I step and slow the pace.

We're having terrible winds here, too, and wondering if we're going to get snow!  After having temps in the mid-80s!    Crazy!

When I got home today, I flopped into my recliner and promptly fell asleep.  We didn't want to get out in that wind to go to the dinner at church, so we stayed home.

Hi Everyone. We have an overcast but dry morning and it is suppose to be a very nice day for the beginning day of the Master's Tournament. There are tens of thousands of people here than have come from other places to see it. I will be watching on TV but probably not too much until the last afternoons and the weekend.  We have a special friend coming to visit us from out of town and she is bringing us dinner today.  She won't be here until after 3 pm and will likely stay for only a couple of hours, but that is enough as visiting like that really tires me any more.  I really enjoy it but it has a cost.  Scott and the girls were here yesterday evening and Scott plans on coming back out today.  I decided I would try once more to get into the shower after which I had to lay back down for awhile.  By the time I got to my office this morning I couldn't hold my head up.  Once again I have read all of the postings but going to just check in again today.

Richard died at home today sitting in his arm chair with his mouth and eyes open... After I called out the door for help, neighbours, police, ambulance medics spent hours trying to revive him, then the coroners came and took his body away..There was nothing out of the ordinary this morning, he had taken Toby to the groomers and not long been back, before having to back to collect him a little later..I also phoned the groomer to ask her if anything had seemed out of the ordinary, she told me no, nothing out of the ordinary..This is not sinking in, and will be worse when I wake up in the morning expecting him to still be in his bed as usual...

Oh, Jackie!  What a shock for you!
I'm so sorry, dear one.  There isn't much one can say at times like this, is there?  Glad he didn't have to suffer terribly, as others have.  And may our kind, merciful God grant you peace as you deal with this, and face your "new normal."  Remember, your friends are lifting you up in our prayers. 

Oh Jackie I am sorry, I hope you can find peace in time. It isn't easy to lose a someone you are so close to. Just know that we are here for you. Do you have some one to help you  or maybe you can get a carer to come in to help, you shouldn't be alone to deal with all that this will entail.

Its almost 2.am, just cant take myself to bed, I am afraid of when I wake up..nor have I eaten since morning breakfast, food is the last thing on my mind...Richard and I may have had our differences but he had looked after me for the last 17 plus years, he was my rock...my life is not going to be the same anymore...why did he have to go before me, it wasn't meant to be this way...

Jackie please try to get a little food in and try to rest, the days will be long and hard sometimes one just has to stop take a ste3p back and make sure you are prepared for what is to come. Having someone to talk to is  the best thing for you right now, soneone to help you with your feeling of loss. What about your Vicar? Have to called  to tell them what has happened? We here on CP are all praying for you and are here when you need to  let  it out. We will do our best for you and with you.

Checking in this morning and I am so sorry, Jackie, for your news. Prayers for you as you cope with grief. Listen to all the advise and choose what is best for you.   

Jackie, I don't have anything to add to what as all ready been said other than to say I am sorry and it was so sudden.  I also will be praying for you as you are faced with many new challenges in the days ahead.  We can be your sounding board in the days ahead since we can't be there for you in person.

I really could do with your hugs, real hugs...I dont think today I have achieved much apart from a call from the coroners office, and Richards sister phoned me again about making arrangements contacting our solicitor who is local to her, and if I remember right, making arrangements from Richards employer Vauxhall for returning the car...I think it may have been social services who phoned who suggested they will contact St Andrews, community church angels..
Do you know just how much for granted I took Richard? as I cant stop our phone from this constant bleep, bleep, never could, yet Richard only had to touch something and it would stop, I have pressed everything...I also have a continuous buzz almost like electricity pylons coming from the oven timer, again it has a mind of its own, I dont even use the oven, but Richard was the one who knew how to set it or stop the buzzing noise which also is driving me crazy, it is  constant hum.....I have not even put the tv on...Last night I finally dozed off 3.30am, woke up 6,30am, weighed myself and overnight I have lost 4.lbs of weight..not eaten much today, made several mugs of teas but some just sat un-drunk on the table...

Please continue to pray for me...I am the one left, I am going down hill...It was me who was meant to be the first one to go, not him...I kept telling him I would be in a mess...and with everything, the procedure, the bills, the moving, just about everything, he took over doing everything, he really did care about me...we never told each other how much nor did we tell each we loved each other...I was too busy moaning and complaining, well let this be a lesson to you, life really is too short...we were even joining social things that brought some fun to both of us, it all has to end now...never take life for granted, never wake up thinking this is just going to be a same day as it was yesterday...

I wanted someone this morning to sit down with me so I could let all my feelings out, I wanted someone to put their arms around me and give me a hug, a real person, a real hug...The lovely always friendly young tall post lady dropped off a parcel, she is the post lady always seemed happy who both of us liked...She stepped in the door, listened to me, gave me kind words, and gave me the hug I much needed...
I just want to go with him...

Hi everyone.  I am just checking in this morning as not feeling like posting more beyond this short note for Jackie.  This is the time to be very kind and gentle with yourself.  Just imagine yourself as being hugged by each of us on these discussions.  You know your friends here are pulling for only good things in your future and that we love you as a dear friend.  While you may not see it yet there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Amen to Larry's words, Jackie. Yes, be kind to yourself, you are now in a state of shock, nature's way of protecting you during this first part of the grief journey.  As he said, we do care about you, are here for you in the only ways we can be, ready to listen and to pray. I'm thankful for the post girl giving you the "in person" hug you needed so much, and may others follow!

I'm really hurting this morning; had a tough night and am taking pain meds.  They do help, but they don't take all the pain away.  I know I must try to be patient and give my body time to heal.  Doctor called me early yesterday morning and gave me more unwanted news, I so appreciate her kindness.  I think about Larry's steadfast patience with his heart condition, he is always an encouragement to me.

Hello to the rest of you who may pop in later.  I wish us all a blessed day.

Janet would you care to share the unwanted news, you can always email me.

I don't mind, Marilyn.  It's just that others have so much worse problems than I, I feel selfish talking about my problems.  What she told me is that it appears I may have COPD, had I ever smoked? No.
Had Asthma? No.  And I have only one kidney, it is only functioning at 52%. She told me to STOP taking the 800mg Ibuprofen I'd been prescribed, as it is very hard on the kidneys. She told me to take Arthritis formula Tylenol instead. And she thinks I may be developing diabetes. I told her they did the blood draw right after I had eaten lunch, so that's likely the reason for elevated sugar.  I've always been so strong and healthy, this is all a shock to me, but I am fully confident that I will soon be over this hurdle and back to being myself again.  I'm trusting God for my healing!  Prayers always appreciated!

Jackie I can only echo what has already been said here.  Please find someone to help you through this time of shock and grief.  Neighbors? Vicar? someone from your MS group?  There has to be someone you can count on ... or who can help you find that someone.

This is what I posted not long ago on our S& Fs site...

" I am going to pieces, no one has come to see me, and just come off the phone from Richards sister, she isn't going to get to me for a couple of weeks..She has also gone back on what she said to me yesterday, she is denying she even said it about I am part of the family...now she cant answer that because she isn't sure..although she is also saying she didn't say it yesterday...She is helping as much as she can from her end but in reality it is for her brother ( which I understand of course, ) and not actually because she and her hubby cares for me, even when I asked them that once this is all over, I asked, no I begged, still believing what she said to me yesterday that I was part of the family, if she they the family will help me sell up and get back home near to them, she cant even guarantee doing that.....Have you ever felt unloved - unwanted? Followed by...

I posted this ealier but never posted it as afternoon dog walking friend came to walk Toby and another on site friend from down the bottom came to see me, at least he did come in, gave me a hug, and another hug as he left, he sat down and spent quite some time with me just talking about Richard about how he seemed, what he talked about recently, me, about what happened on the day and his medical issues leading up to it, he, basically things that Richard had told him when out walking Toby.....he also said after I had asked him if he will give Toby a morning walk as my neighbour across the way says he cant do it tomorrow morning...

I can add that at 8pm I am now eating three small new potatoes and two small brussel sprouts...

I want to make my apologies as I have not read any posts, maybe I am too afraid to as it may start me off crying again but...I know that on both forums ( S & Fs )  members - friends,  have posted in response to my many posts, so I say a BIG Thank You...And a special thank you to Larry Hanna for making a personal posting to me, as I read once again you are not feeling up to making any larger posting, please do take care, I dont want to lose another...

Jane Walker,  and a special thank you for my card, I have noticed it briefly but again cant at the moment bring myself to reading it, but I did notice it is a lovely card and has come from Jane, thank you so much Jane for thinking of me at this troubled time of my life...

Jackie I just don't know what else to say. We are here for you to vent  and whatever you feel like talking about. This is difficult for you that we all do understand and will keep on praying for you.

Janet, I will pray for you as well. Wow that was some shocking news you received. These older bodies seem to be falling apart on us. Keep  staying as active as you have been, that is what I am trying to do, although I do find myself being much more careful at the  gym and not over doing myself.

Just checking in today.

Just reading on so many health issues amongst us, just dont take anything for granted...I have found it has an uncanny way to turnaround and hit you when you least expect it....our life really is shorter than we think...and we dont foresee what lays ahead...We wake up thinking the day will be like any other day...

Jackie that is so true.

Hi Everyone.  We have a beautiful sunny day that will get up to 70 this afternoon.  I did wake up feeling better this morning.  I was able to take my shower this morning and each time I do it now I am finding new safeguards.  After I finished I laid down for the better part of of hour to recover some energy.  It is almost 10:30 now and haven't even eaten my breakfast/lunch, which I have at my desk and will eat as I work here this morning. 

They made a very wise decision to start the golf tournament early yesterday as they got it over and people safely off the course before the stormy weather hit the area.  Fortunately most of the rain and storm was either South or North of the Augusta area.  I did watch a lot of the tournament both Saturday and Sunday as well as quite a bit of the Thursday and Friday rounds.  It was a very good event with a lot of excitement in terms of who might win right up to the end.  It was really some accomplishment for Tiger considering two years ago he doubted he could ever play competitive again due to back problems. The young guys will have many opportunities for wins in the future.  Nothing on the schedule for today but tomorrow will be buy as have an appointment for a test at the hospital and need to have some blood drawn for some test ordered by the kidney doctor in preparation for my appointment with him in a couple of weeks. 

Jackie, it sounds like a wise decision to give up Toby as taking care of you is far more important than dealing with a pet.  It sounds like you have a couple of good prospects for someone to care for him.  It sounds like you are beginning to get some of your affairs in order.  I hope the retired nurse will be of great assistance to you in the days ahead.  I am glad to see you are beginning to see at least a small light at the end of the tunnel.  Things always work out although we don't see how they can.  Sending you some HUGS today.

Janet, hope you will soon be feeling better from your fall. 

We just unloaded the car after driving from Tucson to Denver.

Jackie:  Keep reading bible verses that give strength and courage - this too shall pass.

Hi Larry:  Prayers for you and Pat.

Freeway driving is nothing like it was years ago and truck drivers are not the good people of  yester years. They are certainly not "gentlemen of the highway" anymore.  Stressed but happy to get off the road.  Yet, we were privileged to see a lot of snow on the mountain peaks all along the way from Tucson to Denver.  Colorado Springs is growing much too fast.

Does anyone care about hockey?  Don was elated to learn UMD - University of Minnesota Duluth won the National Championship.  It was a wonder to watch - they won the previous year too. 

Making my grocery list and it is soon time to shop.  I wish that a pot of soup was brewing right now. 

Take care everyone. 
 

Greetings Jackie
We were so sorry to read of Richard's passing. You are in our thoughts and prayers. We are all thinking of you here. Sending you hugs, many of them.

Everyone, I am not long home from a few days to see family.  I will post more in the next day or two.

carol...
...Please can you personally recommend the bible readings you would be reading if you was me right now... I am ashamed to say, this is something I never even thought of, although I am sure it will start me off crying...but it will be comforting to know I am nearer to God, or our God is nearer to me...I do have a bible in my bedroom, just rarely ever get it out, or maybe felt I never needed it, but I do now..
I need strength to get through this and I need strength  to face the future alone....

I somehow missed the notification that my Apple protection on my computer had expired (two years ago!) and boy, am I paying for that!  Spent three hours on phone with Apple Tech Support yesterday, and then a boatload of money for getting things cleaned up, and even more for LIFETIME protection, so this doesn't happen again.  And in all of that, I lost the REPLY box on here, and it took a bit to figure out how to get in so I can talk to you nice people!  Pheww!  Wore me out! Now I am supposed to call the nice tech guy once a month for a "checkup".

I've been watching the devastating, heartbreaking loss of Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris.  Having just been there, it really hurts to see this loss of an 870 year old iconic structure.  Very sad.

Jackie, Carol's advice is very good.  That's exactly what I did in the month leading up to my daughter's death in December 2017.  I immersed myself in Bible reading and prayer every morning, and it gave me the strength to face and endure what we knew was coming. God is the source of our lives, let Him be the strength you need at this time.  You will find you never want to face life without Him, ever again.  (((((hugs)))))

I have been on this computer all day today!  Unsubscribing to tons of emails I get deluged with every day; trying to find something we need, and listening to the news from Paris too.

I hope to be back to normal tomorrow.  We did go to the gym this morning.  All I did was walk a half mile on the treadmill at 3 MPH.  That was enough.

Blessings to each of you!

Not month, but MONTHS!

Greetings Larry Splendid seeing your longer post today.  I have been to the UK visiting family, took hubby with me.  In a wheelchair with assistance at the airport.