Christian Photographers Community

For several years, I've subscribed to a mailing list called GCFL (Good Clean Funnies List), which sends out a daily email featuring a humorous joke or thoughts on life.

Today's is titled "PARENT - Job Description"...

QuotePARENT - Job Description

This is hysterical. If it had been presented this way, I don't believe any of us would have done it!!!!


POSITION:

Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop


JOB DESCRIPTION:

Long-term team players needed for challenging permanent work in an often chaotic environment.

Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24-hour shifts on call.

Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports
tournaments in faraway cities!

Travel expenses not reimbursed.

Extensive courier duties also required.


RESPONSIBILITIES:

The rest of your life.

Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5.

Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.

Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.

Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets,
and stuck zippers.

Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars, and coordinate production of multiple homework projects.

Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.

Must be willing to be indispensable one minute and an embarrassment the next.

Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap plastic toys and battery-operated devices.

Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.

Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product.

Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.


POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:

If you are lucky, you may be promoted to the position of Grandparent. Of course, you must still retain and fulfill
all the responsibilities of Parent while assuming the new title and job responsibilities of Grandparent.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:

None required, unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.


WAGES AND COMPENSATION:

Get this! You pay them!

Offering frequent raises and bonuses.

A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent.

When you die, you give them whatever is left.

The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.


BENEFITS:

While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays, and no stock options are offered, this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.

Thought you'd all enjoy this

For more info, see http://www.gcfl.net

 

In the parenting line of conversation...


The boss wondered why one of his most valued employee had phoned in sick one day. Having an urgent problem with one of the main computers, he dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper.

'Hello ?' 'Is your daddy home?' he asked.

' Yes ,' whispered the small voice.

'May I talk with him?'

The child whispered, 'No.

Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, 'Is your Mommy there?'

'Yes.'

'May I talk with her?'

Again the small voice whispered, 'No .'

Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, 'Is anybody else there?'

'Yes ,' whispered the child, 'a policeman '.

Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, 'May I speak with the policeman?'

' No, he's busy ', whispered the child.

'Busy doing what?

'Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman ,' came the whispered answer.

Growing more worried as he heard a loud noise in the background through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, 'What is that noise?'

'A helicopter ' answered the whispering voice.

'What is going on there?' demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.

Again, whispering, the child answered,' The search team just landed a helicopter .

Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked, 'What are they searching for?'

Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle...

'ME'