Christian Photographers Community

Police Quotes   


"The handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."

"If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

"So, you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"

"Yes sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"

"Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

"The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or dog?"

"Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

"Life's tough, it's tougher if you're stupid."

"No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."

Thanks Pat!  I'm still giggling......even as I write this!

LOL!!

Thanks for the morning smile!  That's great!

Purty funny, Pat ... 

"I'll go quietly."
"Good, that kinda ballances things out!"

Sister Pat,

  Thanks - I needed that laugh.

Let me add a couple of groaners that give me a chuckle.
______________________

Your honor, I stopped Mr. Doe for going the wrong way on a one-way street. I asked Mr. Doe if he saw the arrows, and he replied, "I didn't even see the Indians."

Mrs. Smith, I stopped you for going 35 miles per hour in a 20 mile per hour school zone. Mrs Smith replied, "But officer, I'm not going to be out for an hour."

Love In Christ,
Tom

Ohhh, Tom...  I laughed so loudly at that first one, Geordie came running and stared at my monitor!

I like the first one best.  But then again, maybe it is because my husband is part Indian.

Keep Up the good work here.

K4J

Lovin' those police jokes, Tom....keep 'em comin'!...LOL

Those were good ones. I work as a security officer myself, so I can appreciate them.
Of course if you really said some of those things you would loose your job.

Quote from: SmokeytheDog on January 17, 2005, 12:18:42 AM
Those were good ones. I work as a security officer myself, so I can appreciate them.
Of course if you really said some of those things you would loose your job.

   Yes, you are right.

How about this one:

These handcuffs are brand new and stiff. You get to be the first one to help break them in.

I can definitely remember a few police officers who said the wrong thing at the wrong time, especially on the radio when thousands were listening with their police scanners. I have a list of some real ones I'll have to find and post them for you.

Love In Christ,
Tom

Ephesians 2:1-7  And you hath he quickened, who were dead in trespasses and sins; Wherein in time past ye walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that now worketh in the children of disobedience: Among whom also we all had our conversation in times past in the lusts of our flesh, fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind; and were by nature the children of wrath, even as others. But God, who is rich in mercy, for his great love wherewith he loved us, Even when we were dead in sins, hath quickened us together with Christ, (by grace ye are saved;)  And hath raised us up together, and made us sit together in heavenly places in Christ Jesus: That in the ages to come he might shew the exceeding riches of his grace in his kindness toward us through Christ Jesus.

OKTOM,

I was going to bring some story over here for you to read & part of it is here at this website at the link below.  However, I ended up welcoming one of our new member's here: Smokeythedog, so part of the story is there at the link below.

My German Shepherd had a very big & strong neck, besides she used to scare any strangers that drove their car into our driveway.  We'd be inside the house, and a policeman pulled into our driveway, besides many others.  Even he didn't dare get out of the vehicle, for she sure looked very mean to those people who didn't know her.  We've had many policemen, ask us if they could have our dog, to be a K-9 (a police dog).

http://christianphotographers.com/community/index.php?board=42.0

Please see the link above so that ya know how she got such a big neck.  Sorry, no jokes this time for you all, but I do have a Police story of sorts here.

K4J